NICU Mothers have a 20% greater chance of experiencing postpartum depression and are in many cases unlikely to talk about it. When my son was first in the NICU, I experienced awful feelings and thoughts that I believed, at first, to be crazy. Instead of talking to people, I chose to write it all down and try to evaluate what was going on. I realized after about two weeks that I was going through the stages of grief. Even though my baby boy was alive and making progress, I was grieving loss. It sounds terrible to write down. It feels even more terrible to say, which is why many NICU mothers choose to stay silent.

I finally talked to a few other NICU mothers there and found that they too had gone through the same emotional battle that was so difficult to explain.

I thought, “Why doesn’t anyone talk about this?!” So I decided I would.

I took journal entries from each stage of grief and turned them into lyrical prose, beginning each chapter with “Dear Baby.” It is a first-person account written at the actual time of my NICU stay. The emotions and actions are very real.

Mothers in the NICU need so much love and support while also maintaining their own space and special time with their baby. They could simply read this book to their child while sitting next to them.